Blindness

 

“Inside us there is something that has no name, that something is what we are.”

- José Saramago

 

        I dream of raindrops; each one of them keep it’s singularity while swaying from side to side on earth instead of falling down and just like us, humans, in an order within disorder. What can be dreamed of can also be seen. Even the moments we look and see while we’re awake can be limited, we’re able to visualise every moment we observe and feel. The adventure I’m going after gives cause for me to get one step closer to show this ‘moment’ like the way I feel. It’s been three years since I started to live in Istanbul and my experience goes on with short term friendships, like a ‘one friend at a time’ attitude; that’s mainly because of my basic mistrust and denial that noone can become a part of my life more than a few hours. I am aware of what’s going on and in order to tell what I’m going through in a much better way I sometimes need to open my heart and shut my brain up, just like Anders Petersen once said. And then just shot!

      Our differences cause our similarities to be seen more easily. Like the order within disorder. So many people, while looking completely unlike each other, can connect with itsy bitsy common points and chat easily about their experiences on life; the reason behind that created common ground is the streets! When I forget about my brain and open my heart on the streets, when I grab my camera I completely get lost in this harmony. But looking at my photographs, the times which I can’t see my emotions are the times I perceive this as a betrayal to myself. That’s why I make an effort to get out of and take a look at myself and what I’m experiencing, both trying to get to know me and shape my future. My photo series Blindness is exactly reflecting my struggle to escape from blindness. The adventure that I started by moving to Istanbul continues after finishing and throwing away the blindness and started seeing. But first I believe that I need to start seeing my true self in order to know who I am, and then I think I’m going to start seeing in real terms. So blindness, on my own behalf, is my first. And blindness…